Day One

So I honestly felt that I would get up this morning and feel fantastic; the not smoking would be a non-issue, and I'd dive into my first Zimmerman project with aplomb. Also worth noting is that in this fantasy, I'm about 20 pounds lighter.

This wasn't the case. I've been a little shocked at how long and how unnerving today has been. The gum really doesn't seem to be helping, and the only thing that has aided with the whole wanting-to-crawl-out-of-your-skin sensation has been the four naps I've taken here at rehab (mom's house). Mentally, the day has been full of bargaining. Maybe I could keep smoking and just cut down....Only smoke on weekends, that's it!...Or how about on road trips? Who's up for a quick cross country jaunt?

The bargaining has been the most disheartening part of the whole day. I really felt like my resolve was steely last night when I snuffed out the last cig, but the whole "Let's Make a Deal" experience, hosted by my evil subconscious,is making me question just how much I want this.

Addiction is awesome.

But...the silver lining! My first Zimmerman project is on the needles. I was surprised to find out just how easy it was to figure out gauge for the seamless raglan sweater (my future self, the one wearing the lop-sided, two-sizes too large sweater is dying of the LULZ)! And I had to admit I felt a little excited when my gauge with a worsted wool was the same as EZ's. BFFs? I think so. Mom and I are about to head to the coffee shop to knit on, so hopefully I can get some pictures up for tomorrow (of the knitting. Trust me, you do not want to see my ashen, crazed face at the moment).

I'll leave you with this, from Ms. Zimmerman herself: "Knit on with confidence and hope, through all crisis."